As weird as this may seem, this is a list I've wanted to do for a very long time but never got around to posting. Truth is, I don't WANT to hate Teen Titans Go! I don't hate it because it's the popular target, I hate it because it doesn't want to give me any reasons to defend it. When it finally, FINALLY, gets something right...it's almost miraculous. So, this is my Top 5 Best TTG episodes. Why only 5? Cuz there aren't enough good episodes to fill a top 10. First, some honorable mentions:
A) Video Game References- I hear a lot of people say this episode is actually pretty good, but honestly I just can't see that. It's just good because everything surrounding it is so much worse by comparison. So, yeah, this episode sucks a lot less but it still sucks!
B) Gorilla- There's a lot of people who'd call this the worst episode of the series because Beast Boy comes off like such a dick, but I feel it probably would've been improved dramatically by having an actual catalyst. Think about it: if we saw Robin being a control freak, constantly bossing the Titans around and BB just got sick of it and decided to become a gorilla permanently, it would've been a bit more justified. As is, though, yeah I see where they're coming from.
C) Kicking a Ball and Pretending to be Hurt- I'm not the only one who thought this episode reminded me a little of the South Park episode The Losing Edge, right? Yeah, it just substitutes baseball for soccer (or futbol as they keep calling it). I would've put this on the list, since a few jokes were actually funny and I always love seeing Beast Boy get beat up, but the ending did kinda lose a few points and this would've made the list if there were enough other entries for a top 10.
D) Best Robin- I just kinda liked the fact they referenced the Carrie Kelly, Tim Drake (or maybe Jason Todd, I'm not sure), and Burt Ward Robins for this episode. I suppose, technically, this could come the closest to the unofficial #6, except for...
E) Driving Test- Like Johnny Test, I feel like this show started out good, but then the quality to plummeted into the asphalt, hit magma, and then kept going until it came out the other side. Before that, the first few episodes were kinda funny and this is one of them. While it's impossibly frustrating that Robin didn't figure out he was actually being used as a getaway driver, I'll gladly take this over Ced Tiger, Parasite, Serious Business, Truth, Justice, and What, Brain Food, this is why there probably isn't going to be Worst list; there's just too many candidates--this isn't even a QUARTER of them! Anyway, onto the actual list.
#5) Legendary Sandwich- If Driving Test was more memorable, I probably would've switched them around. This is the episode that kinda divided a lot of people, before the show actively started hating and offending its audience. Raven talks about a supposed "Legendary Sandwich" which is said to have great power. Yeah, it's dumb but she mostly just uses this as an excuse to watch this show's My Little Pony rip-off because in-joke. This episode does have some pretty funny and simple moments, like everyone else having to go across the galaxy and fight monsters...while Robin has to get the bread from the supermarket, and intercuts him bored out of his mind trying to get the bread while the others are beating up monsters for the ingredients. It's actually kinda funny, even the ending works; shame this quality didn't stick.
#4) Salty Codgers- I really, really thought that I'd hate this one. I still think that I should hate this one, but there's just something I can't bring myself to hate about it. The premise is one of the cooler and supremely underrated enemies of the Titans, Mad Mod, drains the Titans of either youth--except Raven; kinda like the episode Revolution, except with lower stakes, and less comedy. If you thought they underutilized Mad Mod before....that's literally his only appearance. The first half of this episode is really why this barely makes the list, but the second half is much better. The Titans have actually become so old that they die, and it's surprisingly a very emotional and very serious moment. Raven refuses to accept their death and literally goes through Hell and back to get their souls. There's a few good jokes, like Raven telling Cyborg's grandkids the story (seriously, that's always bugged me; Mod just AGED them, he didn't send them through time so WTF?), Raven just floating across the River Styx instead of paying Carran, and the song Death sings is pretty good. The ending is surprisingly clever, and I think it was a nice reference how they made Death look like the Flash Villain from the storyline Linkara mentioned (he said it was One More Day done right, but with the Flash).
#3) Girls' Night Out- Okay, the villains are easily the best characters here: they're funnier, more likable, and, in Dr. Light's case in Caged Tiger, more sympathetic. Why not just have a show about them? And don't tell me they don't want a show with villains as the main characters because these Titans are so heinously unlikable in most episodes they might as WELL be villains! Okay, rant over; Starfire wants to have a Girls' Night Out with Raven when she can't join Robin and the idiots' Boys' Night, so they break out Jinx and wreck the town. It's actually a lot funnier that the girls have a way more wild time while the boys just fuck around and act like it's a party kinda like the Spongebob episode Mid-Life Crustacean. Plus, I just like the flashback with Raven (Raven- "Ha ha ha. You're in prison." Jinx- "I hate you.")
#2) Let's Get Serious!- originally, this would've been #1 since it didn't have any other competition, but I seem to be in the minority as tons and tons of people say this episode is the worst of them all including Joey Tadesco and PieGuyRulez. Ordinarily, I'd go on to talk about how awesome this episode is, but I did an Admirable card on it which explains why I like it so much. Now, if I did an Admirable Animation card on this episode, and I've said this is the best episode of the series (which isn't saying saying much but still), why isn't it #1? Here's why.
#1) Cool School- If every episode was this clever, this funny, this great, and this fun to watch, those promos calling TTG "Your new favorite show" would be a lot more accurate and a ton less offensive. No joke, this episode is almost as funny as an episode of Gumball. Rose Wilson is absolutely awesome, funny, and a great compliment to Raven. The pacing is well done, and most of the jokes work pretty well. Plus, I think it's funny how Rose beat the Titans by literally weaponizing her own bitchiness ("Guys, quick, count to ten without using your fingers." "Thigh-high boots and a mid-driff? Are you a superhero or a cheerleader?") but then gets defeated by the Titans using their sincerity and friendship with Raven to defeat Rose the same way; that's both really clever and hilarious! The absolute best part, without a doubt, is Raven and Rose driving Robin absolutely nuts by insisting Rose is in jail. Writers of Teen Titans Go!, whatever you did for this episode, keep doing it! A whole season's worth of these should patch the damage...or at least avert our attention from it.
Well, there you go; next time, my top 45 Worst Episodes of...no, just kidding; I'm not doing another list like this.